Smoking and the hardgainer

[Dobermann]

Trouble,

We all know how bad smoking is for general health and it's implications.However I was wondering as a body builder and a hard gainer with insulin insensitivity how bad it is for me to socially smoke? I gave up regular smoking of 40-50 a day for 15 years about 2 years ago after watching a loved one die of cancer.But have stuggled to be completly free of the weed since then.I find in social or stressfull situations I reach for a pack of cancer sticks! this situation is really depressing and I get frustrated/depressed and chastise myself everytime I give in swearing like an acloholic that falls off the wagon that this "is the last time I smoke" .However im finding myself starting to slip and am now smoking a pack once or twice every week or two.For the lifestyle im trying to lead this is the hardest thing I find to do.Giving up junk food/alcohol sleeping before 11pm never missing a training day etc.etc is childs play compared to this.Quite frankly im really pissed at myself but seem to cave in whenever im in a highly stressed and or social situation where ciggarettes are present.Is there anything I can do or take that could help me stop this destructive behaviour? I'd apreciate it if you could perhaps list the reasons why smoking is bad for gains outside of the obvious health reasons as well.

Any suggestions or adivce is most welcome and sorely needed, and yes feel free to give me a good telling off as well